I got Shadow of the Colossus HD for Christmas in 2011 (with overrated Ico stuck to it like a fucking tumor), and cringed. Typically, any time I replay the same game a year or more after the fact, I don’t like it as much. I (or more accurately my parents since I was 13 when it originally came out) already paid $50 for it once upon a time, and I sure as fuck ain’t paying another $50 for the same game I already played ten years ago. There are Nintendo fanboys who could recreate one of those jetpack things they use over water using just their erect penises and the semen they generate from the prospect of Wind Waker HD. Unless you’re a Pagan.įirst off, you should know that I almost never pay for a game more than once. I also accidentally destroyed the alter that I was going to sacrifice both the damsel and the Mexican on. He killed himself after I accidentally destroyed his shop with a giant boulder. Anyway, that’s me rescuing the damsel after having just rescued the Mexican from a trapped coffin, because that’s what heroes do. And also lucrative Kickstarter campaigns. That’s a thing right now because the game collective hive mind mentality tells us that, while games most certainly DO NOT cause violent behavior under any circumstance and anyone who says otherwise is an out of touch old person like a politician or a lawyer or something, games most certainly can and do lead to sexism. Apparently this has been the source of controversy, the theory being that having girls in need of rescuing somehow reinforces negative stereotypes. And then came Spelunky on Vita.Īnd yes, the damsels are back. Thus, it went on to collect virtual dust inside my Xbox’s memory. ![]() When I found myself with time to kill, something always seemed like a better option than Spelunky. The reason being that its novelty wore thin after about a week. Yet, it’s been a while since I’ve played it. It’s one of those very rare punishers that gets it right. ![]() Speak to anyone who has put more than an hour into it and I’m sure you’ll hear tales of how the game fucked them over in ways both infuriating and hilarious.ĭespite being pitiful at Spelunky, I still enjoy it. Like the time I had built up ten hearts and much of the best equipment of the game, only to have a spider set off a dart trap which blew up a crate which caused a shopkeeper to declare me a terrorist, leading to me getting spotted and murdered by someone in his union on the next stage. ![]() It screwed my attempts at progress every step of the way. I had a love-hate relationship with Spelunky.
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